Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
