Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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