Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
from now on my penis is your penis
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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