He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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