You're a womanizer and a bitch.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
