you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize