It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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