Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
We need to rekindle our bromance
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
