i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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