We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
