cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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