she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
