HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
