Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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