please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
