Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
