So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
