His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize