Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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