people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
