is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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