I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
