Duck Duck Cougar?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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