spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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