I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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