The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
