Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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