Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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