Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
