He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize