I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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