Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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