She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
