you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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