thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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