where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
