I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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