When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
worst night to have a conscience
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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