So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
