I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
