when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
