Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
