I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize