Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
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My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
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If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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