i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
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I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
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Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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