i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
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If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
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Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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