I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
