These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize