Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
i think i just lost a toe
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
