So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
