My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize