oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
