I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
