Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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