Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
