I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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