a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
