She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
