So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The beer is more important than you right now.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
