zippers are such a cool invention
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
