Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
