the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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