I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
