great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
