Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
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