i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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