It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
