IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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