fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
