I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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