Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize